Bells and Whistles

Day 9 - Bells and Whistles.

After awhile you forget what if feels like; how did your face react or feel like before? Is your face really showing signs of improvement? Or is that just a trick of the light or your face just relaxing enough to show a small sign of life?

This is Day Nine. And I will update with questions. Question asked by people I know & questions that buzz around in my head all day. Welcome to my World......


What are my limitations?
I sometimes feel like a fraud. I do not have a life-threatening illness; I am not handicapped; I am not disabled. But yet, I am unable to do the simplest things.....normally. I feel a little trapped as a result.

Example - Reading. I am a full time student; or I was until this hit me. Reading is a necessary evil of all college work, but even more so for a distance, online learner. EVERYTHING is read. However, due to a wonky eye -( that opens, but does not shut without significant effort on my part ) - my eye waters badly, thus blurring my vision and causing double-vision. The strain on my eye; the constant re-focusing; the tearing.....all causes me to become overly frustrated and resulting in pain.

But I suppose I feel because no one else can truly understand or see the pain and dysfunction within I am a fraud. Whatever.

Changes in my condition?

I am experiencing more pain in my face. It feels as if I have gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson. It is a strange sensation. Imagine being hit in the face and you feel swelling and bruising but no discoloration. That's how it feels. The littlest touch to my face causes discomfort. Applying makeup or lotion is an exercise in patience and pain tolerance.
My eye doesn't seem to be damaged. The main concern for Bell's Palsy suffers is the cornea becoming dry & scratched, which in turn, will cause permanent damage to the cornea and sight.
Eating and drinking are easier...I think. Either that or I have become used to using straws, covering my mouth when I eat and using small spoons instead of large forks to shovel food into my face.
I still tire easily.  Although I want to keep going.....my body tells me I am tired and my face becomes irritated & painful.....so I have to rest. SIGH.
Talking becomes tiring after a while. I think my wonky side becomes swollen and the opposite side becomes overworked....resulting in a slurring, drooling mess that is not easily understood.

What is my general mood today?

Despite the absence of my usual humor, I am ok. I can't let this get me down. I won't let this get me down. I'm in it for the long haul; and with that I can't allow myself to become so easily downtrodden or hopeless. There are people in this world that suffer worse fates, illness and condition than my own.

Wonky Smile keeps smiling. Pass the bib.